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Psst, anybody going to the Rosement, IL convention this weekend?  I could be your friend.  Or maybe I will go alone, haha.
  • Eating: stomach acid
  • Drinking: sparkling water

After This Then More

Journal Entry: Thu May 10, 2012, 8:45 PM

Well, summer is upon the horizon.  It might(?) be a busy summer for me, on the other side my home is out of internet, it might be down at worst indefinitely.  If you see me on at all during the summer you'll know I found a trickle of it somewhere, otherwise I didn't.

In the meantime I do have a club which may see some quiet times if I'm not there always, if you're interested in helping with my club this summer feel free to say something.
If not, I understand, I'll try to think of something.

I've been feeling a little abscondish, I go through ebb and flow from wanting to be on the internet and sharing things to wanting to disappear at times.  I'll probably get that reclusive feel out of me for the coming months/etc.

I'll probably be happier to see you in a while, when I have something to share and talk about.



  • Listening to: Flower Kings
  • Eating: crackers
  • Drinking: water

Let's get a move on

Journal Entry: Fri Mar 23, 2012, 2:17 PM

At times I feel like I touched Midas's hand on things that are not my aim.  The majority of favorites that arrive in my inbox are for my two tutorials which are gathering dust.  It's nice but not really the appreciation of my artwork but the the ends sought for artists who need pointers.  I wish they would look at my gallery to see the source, but it is not the case so moving on - I find it really strange that I am getting a flood of favorites on a meme I filled out.  Why can't this happen with my works of art?  Coupled with this, it seems as though I will only ever be known for a few things - Tutorials, Paper mache, and association with better people.  I was told that my art was nice but not very meaningful or interesting by my art director - yes, I am very thankful to hear that.  I am angry with my own negligence to get better.  To those of you reading, please point out something wrong about my art.  I implore you to dissect me, that I can be better.  Please.

I want to be known for my art, not for how I helped and shadowed others.

I feel like I'm always stuck doing shit art forever.



  • Listening to: Ozric Tentacles

Real Wildlife Art

Journal Entry: Thu Feb 2, 2012, 11:43 AM

Does real wildlife art seem to exist much anymore?  I find when I browse the art, I hit a certain couple of areas that are interesting.  I don't bother to look at the animal category, it's full to the gills with colorful, goofy animal art and cartoon drawings.  It's not like I'm not guilty of said things.  But it's become a very subjective thing, very personal art.  Animals are painted very personal to its owner, to the point where it becomes so boringly personable?  People do complain about things like sparkle animals/emo and such.  I see people more or less using animals as a means of designing things; color design, shape design, sort of looking for a balance and in extreme amounts of it.  For instance a dragon artist made large lower jaws on dragons very popular, curling horns and tail styles.  These things in the end produce a pleasing composition but in the end, do they look like pleasing animals, or are they just designs?  In general, I'm saying it's very rare to find animals painted more in the real and for gains other than personable appeal.  I used to believe the appeal of animals was their remove from our own perspective, but that doesn't seem to be a uniform case.  Most use them for very humanlike interactions and jokes, perhaps playing on the supposed animal's stupidy as a smidge worse than ours.  (Icanhascheezburger logic may apply here)  Therefore, would it be better to see animals in normal settings, or perhaps odd or wildlife settings?  Or is real wildlife boring?
I say this not to express my hate, but curiosity that is the repetitive drawl of animal art, whose heaps of designs and shallow jokes make for a bland or numb experience, too similar to our own.

Any facets of animal art that are worth mentioning?

And as a little bit of a tailer, a new band I've been growing fond of.…

Places I'm at

Livejournal (ask)

  • Listening to: Jade Warrior
  • Reading: articles

SOPAPIPA garbage

Journal Entry: Thu Jan 26, 2012, 1:59 PM

I don't want to live on this planet anymore

Youtube press coverage…

to quote this article:…

"It nonetheless sends a very clear message when citizens celebrate a rare victory in denying the Government a power it seeks — the power to shut down websites without a trial — only for the Government to turn around the very next day and shut down one of the world's largest and best-known sites. Whether intended or not, the message is unmistakable: Congratulations, citizens, on your cute little "democracy" victory in denying us the power to shut down websites without a trial: we're now going to shut down one of your most popular websites without a trial."

In a previous bill, the government was allowed to seize people suspected of terrorist activity without trial, and that is what lead to this megaupload mess (and subsequently, why some people such as Obama denied the bill - the power was already there, mixed in the words somewhere.)

"those issues should be decided upon a full trial in a court of law, not by government decree. Especially when it comes to Draconian government punishments — destroying businesses, shutting down websites, imprisoning people for life, assassinating them — what distinguishes a tyrannical society from a free one is whether the government is first required to prove guilt in a fair, adversarial proceeding. This is a precept Americans were once taught about why their country was superior, was reflexively understood, and was enshrined as the core political principle: "no person shall be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law." It's simply not a principle that is believed in any longer, and therefore is not remotely observed."

And I will disagree with the superior part, but what happened is true and incredibly sloppy.  How do they NOT expect retaliation?  Well, the reliable hacktivist group Anonymous ravaged a couple government and music industry sites.  One can't trust everything Anonymous does since it is a conglomerate with no group motive, but in times like this it's nice to count on the only group showing up which can actually achieve some level of retaliation.

My sentiments, while it is not a perfect world scenario, hackers patch, update, improve software, and foil companies and governments so many times they are their worst competition - which ultimately ends up improving the product.  Pirates steal and distribute, while which may lower funds, in the end businesses have to buy licensed copies of anything and plenty of people exist who want to buy or collect things and have them in hand.  In majority, and most importantly, these sites host freeware and user-generated content, which is not illegal and is injured by this government predation.

For SOPA and PIPA, the affect was to be able to block sites that hosted copyright infringed content - which cripples any free userbase such as this or as Wikipedia pushed forth, itself.  Basically what has happened with these bills is that, as one of the editors of Wikipedia put it, "It's like suing the Ford Company because somebody used a Mustang to rob a bank."  Websites can't possibly be held responsible for what all of its users do; or else the alternative is that a userbase would have to not exist.  It requires policing on an extraordinary level.  With SOPA and PIPA failing as bills, The government goes ahead and Shuts down (not blocks, suspends, or anything of that sort) Megaupload, on the basis that it "supported copyright infringement" or, really, that its users uploaded copyrighted material.  Who is responsible?  The hoster or the infringer?  Seven of the Megaupload founders/cofounders were arrested without trial.

As an endnote..

I would just hate for everything to be monitored, China's government as you know monitors and blocks websites, and goes the extra mile of scanning citizen's blogs to see if there is anti-Chinese sentiment.  The US isn't much better, since they record every cellphone call and have a machine search it for key word combinations.  Not to rile people up, but I think it is worth mentioning how clamped restrictions are at this point, and how little it seems to matter or occur to people.  Does it matter to you?

I hope I am not just washed up.

  • Listening to: keys
  • Reading: articles
  • Watching: youtube
  • Eating: Feds

January 2012

Journal Entry: Fri Jan 6, 2012, 11:43 AM

I don't really do resolutions, but it's been bothering me that February 2007 in this gallery is still considered my "busiest month" so I want to poop out 9 deviations this January.  I might be a little busier than normal posting, though I'm always busy anyways I'll just post more.  XD

Also a new semester starts for me, which has my junior art seminar.  I chose scifi as a general catchall theme, which means I want to study pretty much everything I'm not very good at with a thematic angle.  Clothing, characters, architecture, perspectives, layout.  Why Here was a warm up :)  

Also I finally upgraded to a 24 inch LED; I was using a DELL CRT before and Dells are known with funking with colors and contrast.  Anyway my future pictures should have the contrast I intended, thankfully.

I'll be opening collaborations for awhile.  If you think our styles will mesh well together then send a note! I'll see what we can do.  I have the right to decline if I disagree or am busy but it doesn't hurt anything to ask

Lastly I've suggested DD's in the past, but this is the first that was accepted :D  Congrats TW!

Brood by TWPictures

Places I'm at

Livejournal (ask)

  • Listening to: Tv hum
  • Watching: It's Always Sunny in Philedelphia
  • Eating: rice

Art and Game Raffles

Journal Entry: Thu Dec 15, 2011, 8:27 AM

Helmighs is an awesome painter so I find this quite worth it.

For the first section, you sign up for a game newsletter here…
and the prizes for doing that are ipad2, ipod touch, posters, shirts and stuff like that.

For the second section you make a journal advertising the contest like I did and you are also thrown in a raffle to get a free character portrait or full painting by :iconsuzanne-helmigh:, one of the concept artists for the game.
Here's her work:  

Her journal for it is here…

  • Listening to: computer hum
  • Eating: cereal

Cats and Bones

Journal Entry: Sun Dec 4, 2011, 9:32 PM

Hi!  I forgot, I wanted to make a journal.  Super things!

My gallery/artwalk up in Montana is underway.  I believe it is still up if you are in the Butte Montana area, just drop me a line and I can give you an address.

Oh I also got a haircut and contacts.  So now my hair is supershort!  Like head hair.  Lopped off over a foot of it (but I'm greedy so I kept it.  Maybe use it in art somehow?  That's kind of sick but it's the truth.)

Also, I created a deviantart group a few hours ago here


I'd been hoping for awhile to figure out a way to rake in some of my favorite art into one place.  Whether it gets off the ground or not is anybody's guess, but I wanted to make it meaningful as art should be.  You like the concept?  Anyhow I would really like your feedback on it.  Like I said it is hoooot off the press, so it is empty!  I expect to fill it with people/art/something in the next couple of days.  (too late).

And LASTLY:  I would like to know about logos, as in I need one.  (actually on that note do any of you remember my old mascot?  +1 to street cred if you do..  I have a habit of thinking sometimes that other people remember everything)  I'm kind of tired of just signing my name or writing my initials, it needs a design.  What do you think?  And if it helps, it'd be super cool if you doodled some idea with muro.  Geez, when it comes down to it I have the hardest trouble coming up with something that represents me.

Places I'm at

Livejournal (ask)

I'm everywhere I just choose to spend my time here.

  • Listening to: Jim Noir-Welcome Commander Jameson
  • Eating: ramen

New Dart Issue Out!

Journal Entry: Wed Nov 2, 2011, 7:34 PM

So this is one of the things I was waiting to make a journal to tell you xD


I am part of the DARTZINE staff now, and we just came out with a new Zine with Fall-themed articles.  If you're not familiar with Dartzine, it's a small group of people here on DA that makes a web magazine based on the Deviantart Community and its art, relevant topics and services you may have not heard about, art groups to join, critiques and Q&A with well known or outstanding artists here on dA.  

One of the ones I kept seeing lately is Apofiss, the one with all the cat drawings.  She gets a Q&A in this issue as well as some art pages.  Also the Zine is packed with a lot of macabre art to go along with a Halloween/Fall theme ; )

It's free to view; you can check it out at the ISSU e-reader…

or download the pdf at BeehiveStudio's dA page linked above

I was just taken aboard so I edited 2 articles and wrote one : )  We'll see what next Issue brings~

  • Listening to: Penguin Cafe Orchestra
  • Reading: DARTzine

Artist and Tag Questions

Journal Entry: Sun Oct 30, 2011, 5:35 PM

Tagged by :iconlandylachs:

I was saving up time and new things to make a grand post, but I've been quiet long enough so here's a un-fancy tag journal xD

1. what really inspired you into drawing 'seriously' (or often, or whatever)?

I always sort of drew, as a kid probably once a week and more often sketching/doodling.  I really liked to share my ideas with friends, and sort of forcefully pull them into my lexicon.  Big initial inspiration was Jurassic Park, and later being exposed to a place such as this.

2. what do you enjoy drawing most?

Oh, boy, I've been varying myself so much these days xD  I used to like drawing animals a lot but I have gotten bored with some of the same positions I've been doing.  I guess I like something new and challenging.  Lately it's been "challenging the mind" with really odd ways of presenting the subject and storytelling.

3. do you have a guilty pleasure about drawing? (something you really like to draw or see).

Hmm xD  Dinosaurs + prehistoric stuff, certain animals, skinny things, I really like to see well done architecture/mechy-armored people and good interesting perspectives and trippiness.

4. who are some of your favourite artists?

I always list my top three as:

5. is your drawing style very different from when you started out? (anime to realism, for example!)

Hmmmmm, that is interesting.  Well I spent so much time changing my style in highschool because I hated it/I felt inferior, but over time in college I slowly coaxed myself back into my old style which isn't "old" anymore but new and revamped.  Lots of energy and lines!  I figure that has been closer to my spirit in ways of drawing.  Lately I've been supplementing it with a lot of the good basics.  I pretty much started out in animals though, and though I changed subjects sometimes, I don't think my "angle" on what I do hasn't changed a whole lot.  I think my favorite themes remain the same, just trying to think of better and better ways of representing them.  And stretch them XD

6. is there something you want to learn how to draw better?

Right now really driving home the ability to construct something as purely architectural!  Flat colors to 3D objects, get things to look strongly solid and in whatever playing space.  So, moving away from gestural now

7. do you have a favourite pose or position to draw?

Yes, I do have a couple xD  I tend to tilt the shoulders and head, do things to give things more energy and a tense look.  I do like the 3/4 head but I try to move it just a bit so it's not exactly 3/4.  Other than that, just something striking or disturbing I guess.  Usually some eye connection.

8. do you have any special cicumstances for when you draw? (no jewelry on, no distractions, having a snack, etc)

I usually have to take my watch off because it'll make my wrist ache after awhile.  Probably the last person to wear a digital watch xD  I usually listen to music, and I take breaks now and then to eat some ramen for thought or some other food.  I don't have any "musts" though as far as drawing, just no glare on the screen.

9. do you multi-task while drawing?

I'm terrible at that.  I can't multitask to save myself!  One thing will always demand my focus and the other will lose it.

10. do you like to spend a long time on one drawing, or work quickly/between many pieces at once?

I used to go full out on one drawing but with digital it can take so long, I think it's too hard on a person.  So I start a lot of little ones and visit them again sometime else.  Conclusion:  I'm happier, but I almost never get stuff done.

11. are you open with your drawings. do you show it to any in real life friends or family?

Bleeeh, showing in real life people almost always makes me feel worse.  If it doesn't illicit the reaction I want I feel like gutting the whole project.  So I play keep away a lot.  Sometimes I'll show online people though, if I know they like looking at stuff

Annd another set!

1: Depending on if/when you are able to answer this question, what are you doing/what did you do for Halloween?


2: What is your favourite food or drink?

I have a love affair with shrimp and crayfish as all of animals, pets, and food.

3: What is your favourite animal? Why?

Ohh boy..  How can one choose?  Seriously this is unfair.
Greyhounds Cheetahs Pangolins Kangaroos Budgerigars Kiwis Therizinosaurs Dromeaosaurs Thylacines Beardogs Thylacosmilus Cassowaries Crayfish and toons of other things

4: How are you today?

Eh, up and down.  I ended up asking myself I lot of deep questions about myself to myself.  This was after coding my website for too long of a stint probably, but I got farther.

5: What matters to you the most in a piece of art?

Whether it connects to the viewer or not, like if the purpose is streamlined and focused even if it's not meant to be "focused" you know...  The feeling.  Then also the craft.

6: What is your favourite piece of art that you've made, and why?

Urr, so hard!  I feel a lot of my stuff fails expectations.  However I stuck 'Look Inside' out on the front because I am most proud of it's collected focus and meaning (though it is two years old and that makes me sad)

7: Can you cite a source of inspiration for your work? How and why does it inspire you?

Yes, I can always remember what I was thinking about when I was doing the piece..  Whether I think it is stupid now or not.  It's usually some set of music and art I was looking at, combined with whatever theme I was on at the moment.  Like 5; that would be what inspires me

8: If you could change one thing in your life at this moment, what would it be?

Knowing what I want to do and going full force like a gale

9: Is there anything you regret regarding your own art?

Hating it too much that I never expressed what I really wanted to show and hid behind other themes

10: How do you feel about making up your own series of questions and tagging ten people to answer?

Well maybe xD  I don't know, we'll see.

Ten new questions by :iconlandylachs:

1. How long have you been drawing?

Since a very long time but in growing seriousness probably starting at 13 or so

2. What are you current top five favorite songs?

Too hard! xD  My preferences change all the time but Um.. right now

Hut and Curse of Baba Yaga by Emerson, Lake, & Palmer
Love the Witch/Devil Song by Camper Van Beethoven
One Note World by Jim Noir (startin to like this guy)
A life's Work P.2 Overture by Magic Pie (getting used to badass metal, despite that it reminds me of ELP)
really trying to find prog rock with more organ in it

3. What do you do in real life? Student or work?

Student that works

4. What is your ideal lifestyle? (What's your dream job or your dream place to live, or your ideal house, etc.)

Working in some think tank of a studio whether it be for games or whatnot, helping create things both programming and arts.  Not hating these people, and having an art house in the middle of nowhere that is also close and having a bunch of birds and dogs and other small things I can think of.

5. Is your work inspired by a particular music artist, movie, or video game?

By music as I find it, combined with artists as I find them or follow them.  Video games don't quite inspire me directly so much as they make me happier and more in the mood to reflect on something.  Doesn't have to always match xD  I Suppose the difference is with art and music I feel more focused but with games I feel more passive.

6. Do you want to make a living in art, or is it more of a hobby for you?

A living so long as it doesn't make me dislike art

7. What are your current top three favorite deviations from other artists on this site?

Yikes!  This is hard.
I suppose my favorite was always "Blue Storm" by Khaosdog
:thumb48713735:,  but I also like "When the Sun Shines", "Sunset Fox", "Floofy Wolf", and "Schokolade" all of which she no longer has up.

From ShadowUmbre my favorites are "Summertime Feathers", "Dinner for Two"
Dinner for two by MinnaSundberg, and "Golden Rain", all of which she took down also, though I really like
The Lamp maker by MinnaSundberg now.

From AndreeWallin- his freaking tutorial
Concept tutorial no.1 by AndreeWallin and this one
Rainy day by AndreeWallin
..and this one
At the office by AndreeWallin

and This
LMS LIMITED EDITION DA ONLY - by DanLuVisiArt by Adonihs

8. Do you have a "guilty pleasure" song? Something you'd be embarrassed if people knew? Please share. >: D

Not really xD  I'm sure I have something, I don't think I'm ever too embarrassed because they're all weird selections, but I have Camper Van Beethoven's Fleetwood Mac Cover "Tusk" which has a lot of dissonance in the music, you know, counting, robot narration, children laughing, electricity going dead, things like that that I'm a little worried people are going to jump in on that at the wrong point.

9. Do you have any pets? If so, what kinds? If not, is there a kind of pet you'd like to have?

Birds and dogs, but I lean towards the birds.  Right now I've got a budgie and a cockatiel, wish I could
take them to school with me.

10. What is your favorite comfort food? (:

Crackers, Ramen, separately ^^

And my new questions for you:

Honestly this pains me to think of something new after doing this.

Do you like to get to know artists as people or do you stay afar and enjoy their art from an academic/admirest perspective?  Does it matter?
Have you done something lately that you are proud of?
What's a big project/dream of yours?

  • Listening to: ELP Discography 0_0
  • Reading: my text fer errors
  • Eating: gonna eat some ramen

Chicago ComiCon

Journal Entry: Sat Aug 13, 2011, 8:16 PM

So today I went to ComicCon!  I met a lot of folks there.  Though I'm not really into the merchandise/toys, I made a beeline for the artists section of the convention.  So much talent there!  I saw and bought some work from Sara Richardson (,…, ChasingArtwork who had a lot of really sweet embossed prints, and the legendary William Stout ( ) whose artwork influenced Michael Crichton (my favorite writer) to write Jurassic Park.  We talked it up for awhile about dinosaurs and artists.  That and I talked up some old cartoons and Thundercats with TomKellyART who was a nice guy.  There are tons more that I got the chance to peruse through, it was a blur and it was hard to stop.  I'm still reviewing the handouts and business cards I got to point what exactly I saw and by who.  

Later we went to see Felicia Day and Jeff Lewis's Panel (From The Guild; also Legend of Neil and Dr. Horrible).  Among some of the other headliners included Patrick Stewart from Star Trek and Christopher Lloyd.  I didn't get to see them in action except for at their booths.  Christopher Lloyd is looking old, but still looks like charming old him.  Bruce Campbell was unfortunately fickle and never at his post.  We heard him being a little cruel to his fans, so that was a letdown.  I didn't see him once all day, though the girls from Evil Dead were faithfully at their booth.

The Cosplayers were not as thick as they might be, but very common.  A lot of Wonderwomans and some other characters, a couple stormtroopers, a really good ghostbuster, etc..  Not much anime, though surprisingly I found Italia-kun from Hetalia which I took a picture of, and a Risa Hawkeye was there.  Also, someone came in a Sonic suit so I took a picture with him.  You just can't pass these things up..  And someone in our party bought a caricature of himself eating oompa loompas, seriously that guy had the best gimmicks.  "I'll draw yourself eating childhood cartoon characters" or "making out with a historical figure" already with illustrations of such.

On another note, half the convention is now pregnant for my having worn a 3 wolf moon shirt (but some other guy was wearing it too, so, 1/2 affect?  Canceled out?)

I really liked meeting everything, wow, a blur.  I couldn't eat lunch because I was so transfixed.  But it was good ^^  I feel a lot better being able to see everything, so many ideas...  And before that, earlier this week I went to see a gallery.  The world doesn't seem that scary as far as getting out there and doing stuff.  Really, anyone should go see one ^^  It's good to be in that atmosphere.

  • Listening to: Crickets
  • Reading: Internet
  • Watching: It's Always Sunny


Journal Entry: Sat Aug 6, 2011, 7:41 PM

Hey!  My Birthday was pretty cool.  This August 5th I had a pretty hohum start to the day, I didn't expect a whole lot.  I went shopping with the ma to kill boredom, we got some food to eat, and generally rummaged the local stores like Michaels, Target, Borders.  I wasn't looking for anything, except something interesting to look at.  I poured over some mangas and art books as usual.  Then we hit home and I was like business as usual, go on the central processing unit and cook up some images or play games or what have you.  Low and behold, My brother sneaks in and puts a present on my computer chair (my usual haunting place) and leaves without saying a word.  He apparently remembers this conversation we had about THREE WOLF MOON, the shirt of a thousand stories and legends.…


I kind of screamed, though I don't usually.  I am seriously considering writing my own legend.

Then I spent some time with a friend from high school, we yacked all night about our pasts since we left school.  It was interesting, and for once I didn't feel like I didn't have any interesting stories.  Maybe my life is interesting!?  That was a welcomed notion.  The next day we hit the trail and she jogged while I rode a bike (for serious, it was a fair match).  Then we caught a crayfish in my creek.  He now has three hungry, dragon-like goldfish for company.

Thank you all for wishing me a happy birthday!

  • Listening to: Fan
  • Reading: Comic Books
  • Watching: Cartoons

Going Along

Journal Entry: Mon Aug 1, 2011, 7:53 PM

In The House

So far the house is moving along nicely.  It's very messy..  My grandparents saved just about everything.  Little nuggets seep through though, such as a few things I gave them.  One was a letter I wrote when I was 7, and my sister had a letter surface too.  My mom's usually a very clean type, but for some reason when it comes to this she is saving almost everything.  That means we are saving little hills of toothpaste, razors, towels, lotion, I have personally inherited a beginner's set to almost everything for a new house..  And so has my sister and my two cousins.  It's a tiny house too, so..!  

It'll be awhile before it's cleared out, the house may go for sale in a year.  A lot of repairs need to happen, some reflooring and repainting.  The dog has to go too, nobody wants it.  I'll try to get in on some of the repairs.  I've helped with cleaning it out some, but that is happening mostly between my mom and her brothers because they discuss who inherits what.  I like some of the historical stuff though, it seems like we're getting the books on our ancestry.  I never really had a chance to pour over them, and nothing's really on the internet.  I've found out my family has a bad history of falling off ladders.

In other news, I'm taking a crack at the Werewolf Calendar again this year, I think I did pretty bad last year.  I'm going to try to work out the kinks that make me fail at these contests.  You're welcome and encouraged to help me :stinkeye:

Before I forget

Childhood's a pretty cool thing, what a compact list of experiences.  Tell me something memorable about yourself.  Were you an artist?  What was your imagination like?  What affected you?

Fuzzily, Skittery, Flightlessly yours,


  • Listening to: fan
  • Reading: Finnish
  • Watching: Antique Roadshow


Journal Entry: Tue Jul 19, 2011, 8:10 PM

So Very

I did spend a lot of time with him.  My mom and my uncle switched every other day, so on days my mom went, I went too.  He was in pain but responsive the first few days, and later as it got worse he faded away.  He didn't have to die just then, the surgery would have prolonged his life for about 6 months.  But with the cancer, that was painful, and he couldn't eat right.  He just had surgery in March which he recovered from fine.  Up until that point he was driving a car.  Anyway, he chose to go with the kidney failure.  He went faster than expected, in a quarter of his maximum time.  It was only a week, he went Wednesday, July 13.  I happened to be there, everyone was holding some part of him during his last moments.  I, his feet, circling around from parts of family to my mom at his head.  It was so painful and sad for him.  My grandmother had went last April, which had made him so sad.  He was such a stand up guy, though I couldn't begin to tell you..  It would cover too much.  I witnessed my first death, wake and funeral all at once, respectively wednesday, sunday and monday.  I think he was happy I was there so much..  I hope I did him justice.  I couldn't go to my grandmother's, for it was during school, and that had weighed on me something.

Anyway, here comes the part that nobody wants to do..  Clear out the house, take what we want as ours, patch it up and sell.  So cold, because there were so many memories.  But have to brace it up for the real world.


I let it slide, it is so hard finding a time to make these sad journals.  I'm so lazy-reclusive to begin with.  I should probably talk more, because my presence is fading.


I'm happy you're here with me, reading this.

  • Listening to: fan

Cannot Believe

Journal Entry: Tue Jul 5, 2011, 5:44 PM

My Eyes

Everything is coming to a head, it's kind of sickening.  Very little I can do.  I will ride with my grandfather the last hours of his life.
Things get awful.  I know you don't care, but I do, very much.  Before I could commiserate with him, but sometimes I feel I hadn't done a lot.  Sometimes you slink away when company's over, or go play outside when parents are talking.  I have my regrets, but I feel I owe all I can to him now.  Very busy week, though it is uncomfortable, you wish it wouldn't end the way it will.

How the World's Filled with Lies

It just sort of goes everywhere.  This existence is a fairly lonely one, and, to lose family and people that know you.  The strands that connect me to people are weak, they fray and break at any time.  In general, the meaning of life and all that hubbub.  I'm sure you could finish my words for me.

Family, friendliness is an illusion, but I'll buy into it all I can for those that believe in it with me.

  • Listening to: evening lawn noises
  • Watching: the birds and the wind

Wings and Acen

Journal Entry: Mon May 9, 2011, 10:59 PM


I got a car recently.  I've been searching for one for months.  Of course, I had unrealistic expectations (not like, I wanted a mustang or a hummer, but more like I wanted a 70's 80's or 90's something or other because I like cars with planes & angles) and I started settling on nicer 2000's cars because of safety and all that shiz.  So there were some nice sunfires or cavaliers I wanted, yeah, they are nice xD  Then, you know, the expectations start slipping away..  When I came home, I found out my parents ditched the green aerostar I was borrowing, I guess it's in some landfill or metal reclaim factory by now.  I really needed a car for the summer, so I could go to work.  So today, I got a car.  It's about the farthest thing from what I wanted in looks, but in its body it is about the best thing for me.  It's taking awhile to get used to.  It looks nice and all.  It's a white ford focus with hatchback.  It's just, not what I imagined, and it's taking time to get used to.  Today I feel like I married some fat quasimodo guy who happened to be the son of the company.  You know, you marry people you have a good feeling about.  Even if they are beat up or have problems you work through it because of love.  Cars are a bit different, you only choose them if they are good for you.  Unless of course, you have the money to buy both the practicality and the looks.

I said I was probably gonna put a decal on it.  Maybe a hotdog or something.  No, haha, just something to make it look like it's got character.  It might work because possibly, just possibly I will get a job that does work in signs/logos/thelike.

So now that it's summer, atleast for me, I can't get online much anymore because the house doesn't have a connection.  Just a monthly limit thing through one of our phones, so it's pretty lame.. and limited.  So I can't get on messengers/etc.  On the flipside, I'm already feeling a bit different without being online everyday.  It's like, I can do more stuff, I think about ideas and painting more often.  So it can also be a good thing.  An one of my friends from school made sure I got like 5 animes to watch, 3 of which are new (and 2 favs I requested) so I just watched all 26 of Trigun in two days.  (but maybe it's time to do productive stuff)
An now I have a car!  So I can go places, if I feel so inclined to leave the house.
Yes.. It is a possibility xD

By the way, it is a good possibility that I will be at ACEN anime convention in Chicago this year.  Yay!  We already got a cosplay troop going.


Thinking about making character sheets, it's been so long since I've made one and I realize my pictures must be very confusing xD  If you find my work interesting enough/confusing enough to warrant it, feel free to say which characters you are most interested in, if you can remember their names xD  I am so spare.   But anyway, I've been meaning to do it, and have been thinking of a few.  Just it seems so daunting sometimes to describe something I know a lot about already by nature but others don't.  And then about some stories I've been wanting to tell xD  But everything I start ends up being hohum eventually, that is why I don't upload it : >  lots of practice.

  • Reading: Tumblr stuff
  • Watching: American Dad (bleh)

Mangas and Animes you should Know

Journal Entry: Sat Apr 23, 2011, 10:41 PM

Hm, I'd been thinking of doing this for awhile : )  It's always interesting what people pick.  Sometimes you get so far into Anime or Manga that you get bored because all you're watching is mush.  Well, here to clarify a few unknown titles as well as some classics.

Maybe I'll write synopsises too.

New Anime 2011


Korewa Zombie Desu Ka?
I am at a loss for words!  This anime is so good.  It's both serious and perverse, contains parody.  The main character is a Zombie (every episode starts with "The main character of this series is a zombie-don't try this at home!")  Who is pushed through some of the best twists in plotline I've seen in a long time.  The fights are ridiculous, I am reminded of Sean of the Dead and Napoleon Dynamite in dry, deadpan humor.  My favorite parts are when he is cleaved in half or injured somehow, but he is at ease.  

I can't wait til this series reaches the US!

:bulletblue:I'd been reading "Deadman Wonderland" last fall.

  As of last sunday it has become an anime.  It's more like a thrill ride manga/anime, because the plot is ridiculous.  Still, it keeps moving.  It's similar to Bleach, except it's has no awful awful characters or filler.  Main characters are inmates that use their own blood as weapons in tournaments.  Interesting enough to waste time with, but not a classic.

:bulletblue:Another new one people have been talking about is Puella Magi Madoka Magica.
I was told it was good but I am not convinced yet...  Magic never really turned my head.

Personal Favorites

Before I lose you- I will list my favorite unknowns.

Highlight!-One of my very favorite mangas is
Parasyte (Kiseijuu)

Parasyte is a story about alien parasytes that inhabit their human counterparts.  Usually they take over the whole body, but Shinichi cut the circulation off of his arm before it reached his head so it stays in his right hand.  They allow the body to transform into more powerful (though monstrous) shapes.  He takes it upon himself to use his parasite to neutralize the others that began preying on his human counterparts and silently taking over the government.  I say without blinking an eye that Hitoshi Iwaaki is my favorite manga artist.  He has such a way with conveying subtle emotions of pain, remorse, and happiness on the faces of his characters.  The plotline feels deep, immersive, and meaningful.  Instead of using evilness as an excuse for everything, enemy's motives are confusing and plausible at times.  What it means to be humane is constantly being questioned.  The manga was published between 1990-1994.  Even in it's time it was a counterculture piece.  I highly suggest reading this manga.

As an endnote, Iwaaki is publishing Historie, another title I would suggest.  

:bulletblue:Historie is still coming out, but is fairly along.  It is set in a real historic context, about a real man named Eumenes in the Roman empire.  He springs from a bit of a nomadic background and becomes Alexander the Great's secretary (of war).  I'm not giving away anything because you can read the real journals of Eumenes of ancient times.  It's really rather interesting.  Though, artistic interpretation is taken for the manga.


I really enjoy my funny manga.  I really, really do.

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo
On a quest to save the world of hair from the hair hunt troops and lord baldy bald or something.  Man, I love this show XD  How to explain, how to explain.  It is antic and pun after another.  The clip is the moment in which Jelly Jiggler and Bo-bobo combine and become Bo-Jiggler. "Have a piece of peace and a taste of nose hair!"  Voice actor of Ichigo from Bleach.

Cromartie High School
I would read the manga.  It's about a smart kid in a low-intelligence gang highschool.  He never seems to understand any imminent danger he is in.  Rather, he scrutinizes everything closely and comes up with an implausible solution which somehow gets mistranslated into something badass.  Making him, "That badass rabbit among a pride of lions."  Clip doesn't include Kamiyama, but is a funny skit regarding trolls.  You might like the series, it has Freddy Mercury in it.


Now, onto classics.
I'm sure you've heard of these.  It feels ridiculous to write a synopsis, but I will.


Futuristic story of a gunman, Vash.  Characters are in depth, interesting, and revolves around a plot of mental pain, guilt, the like.  Drawing style is interesting.  The series is short and to the point, just like I like it.  The turns are often surprising, it is fun to follow.  I remember feeling very sad when it ended, I wanted to watch so much more of it.  I used to draw Vash a little in school.

One Piece

Good storytelling, light atmosphere, quirky.  This show/manga was my first, really.  I loved the way the characters were designed, there's always something a bit silly, off, or lighthearted about them.  Also how nothing in the story revolved around sexual themes.  There are lovestruck characters like Sanji, but it's for humor.  Also that women seem equally represented.  But don't let me get on my high horse : D  Especially the Anime seems to get a lot done in one episode.  The evil fruit powers are interesting, and yes I am a sucker for 'friendship' themes.

Digimon season 1,3

Always liked the concept of Digimon.  While I loved Pokemon, with that show it kind of teaches you that you can just 'whore' around and abuse all your pokemon by catching a hundred billion of them.  They kind of dress it up, but it's just cock fighting for kids.  Though Digimon isn't much different, it's based more on your personal friendship to one creature thing, that reflects your wants/desires sort of.  The digital part of it always seemed surreal.  There are So many!  It's a goldmine in designs.  This is where I get my information/references.

Cowboy Bebop

Very well done plot, characters make you feel for them.  The fight scenes are particularly interesting--!  For instance, I remember them saying they wanted to do a show with some jazz in it, so the fight scenes are done to jazz music.  Now, it sounds suspicious, I know, but somehow it feels like it really belongs there.  The episodes each feel whole like they bring you somewhere.  Oh-yes, and it is futuristic, such as space travel.  But the feel is old west ^^  Similar to theme and time frame as Trigun, but the tone and execution is pretty different.

Rurounin Kenshin

Story about a samurai in the late 1800s who only uses his strength to protect friends.  All the characters are really lovable.  It's unique that it's a story about a killer who is past his prime so to speak, he is 28 and wants to be forgotten to some extent, perhaps have a family or people to care for.  However his past keeps catching up with him, and he has to help save those who get endangered.  This one is always a treat to watch.

Wolf's Rain

The main characters seek paradise, to reset the world.  26 episodes.  No downtime, the series progresses and progresses, with everything eventually important to the plot.  It's like a train that doesn't stop until it pulls into the station.  It starts out happy and gets progressively worse, and desperate.  The world feels very vast, I've watched it maybe 5 or 6 times and I still figure out something new about it.  It isn't spoon fed.  Always one of my favorites.


What I look for

80's and 90's mangas
garish, sharp, hand-drawn inky qualities
animes 50 episodes or less, mangas 15 or less.
sad and happy stories (salty, sweet and bitter)
sense of meaning
unexplained mechanics

Anything to Say?

I'd love to hear your commentary on these, as well as I'm sure I've forgotten some!  Share some good and bad titles.

  • Listening to: Jewish Music
  • Reading: Snyposises
  • Watching: Korewa Zombie Desu Ka?
  • Eating: saliva

There Behind the Glass is A Real Blade of Grass

Journal Entry: Tue Mar 29, 2011, 1:00 PM

Alright class, quiet down, we have another student who would like to share a song with us..  Now, what band did you do a report on?"

"Hi, I did a report on ELP, er, Emerson Lake & Palmer.  You probably never heard of it.. But anyways, it was a band in the 70's that did mostly progressive rock with organ and keyboarding.  Oh, they had a 32 foot organ to play on at home, but on tour they had a 9 foot organ that rotated in midair."

"Okay, did you bring a clip?"

"Yeah, it's on their CD Brain Salad Surgery, it's called Karn Evil 9."


Three minutes later, the classroom is full of confused faces.

7 Years ago, your wierdness truly.

I just wanted to share a snippet of my life with you.  : )  ELP is still one of my very favorite bands.  If you liked them, here's a few more clips.

Pick one and go with it!  They are simply phantasmagoric.

Still... You Turn Me On…
The Endless Enigma…

I would be surprised if you had the tenacity to listen to Karn Evil 9 since it is a half hour long.  But if you are so inclined you can listen to the first 3 minutes, atleast.

Honestly, I really like these kinds of bands.  As time moves forward though, people abbreviate decades into a handful of memories.  I fear most people only recall songs from the 70s like Jam Up and Jelly Tight or some other ridiculous ditty.  I fear I've probably gone too opinionated and alienated you all already ; P

But telling you all about the music I like is another way of showing you what I'm made of, which is a bit embarrassing.  I mean I used to be that way with art, but that's since passed.  You all know what I'm made of here.  Funny-lookin drago-dogs and such.  But music is still one of those unknowns for me, because few share my taste in music.  (Well, art too, probably.)

New Happenings

I'm waiting to get my first car.  Well, not first-first..  I used my parent's teal van and my first technical car was a pinkish red saturn, but it had a lot of barf on it and it didn't run, and one of the doors was impacted in because of 1-3 car crashes it was in.  So I need a real car where I am.  : )…

My boss is a Deck.

In response to PhantomSunsSong's journal.  We had a talk about blogs, what's the meaning of them..  Isn't it to rat about your day?  For instance, MY BOSS IS A DICK.  And everyone is like yeah yeah, he totally is a dick.  Then your boss comments, and says hey!...  I'm not a dick.  And then he writes a blog that says "My employee says I'm a dick."  And then his friends say yeah yeah, your employees right, you are a dick.  But that's not fair.  And then they write on their blogs that their friend is a dick but it's unfair to call them that but it's still funny.
So is it like a shortcut to get people to pat you back and say you think right, because you are ultimately insecure about your statement?  And I am asking you aren't I?  I must be ultimately insecure about my statement.  /hehe

*Whistles.  **Shweoo,  It's quiet in here.  I know it doesn't look like I've done a whole lot lately, but I'm working a LOT behind the scenes.  I just make sure the best of the best only land here, and most of my stuff is wips at this point (actually been having too much fun in wips, I tucker out before they're finished.  But they're all good fun)  So I guess we'll see.  I entered Bio-candy into a show lately in the real world.

  • Listening to: ELP
  • Reading: Averon and Sember
  • Eating: salsa residue
  • Drinking: water

Games and other Tids

Journal Entry: Thu Feb 24, 2011, 5:57 PM

I want to thank you for your helpful input on my last journal.  I love talking with you and hearing your opinions. :)



New Zealand had an earthquake Tuesday-…

Over 100 people are dead and 230 missing.

I'm not from New Zealand, but I feel a special kinship with it.  It happened during the day, so big office buildings and schools were where most the casualties happened.


Slightly better news, if you haven't been watching it, TESV Skyrim is scheduled to come out 11-11-11.  I found this out in January reading the new issue of IGN.  It will include a new game engine, dual wield, lots n lotsa dragons, and better AI.  Who's lookin forward to it? : D

The 3DS is also scheduled to come out this Spring.  I was set on it, but now I think I might wait.  Are you gonna buy it?

Diablo III was supposed to come out this year; embarrassingly they released calendars for the 2011 year but it really looks like it will be pushed to 2012.  If you haven't played Diablo II, Diablo III has been in the making since 2001 or 2002.  So, the players have been waiting a really long time..  I think by the time we get to it, it will be a whine fest because DII is very hard to top; plus I think I simply prefer the snappy movements and attacks of the 2.5D isometric view as apposed to the pillow walking of the 3D game engine.  Everything's so slow!  But, we will have to wait and see.  People say it's taking longer because the team is editing out the rainbows and bright colors of the dark game.

Another Spyro the Dragon is coming out.  It doesn't look promising, as the designs have changed more so his face looks more crumpled and smooshed like a frogs', and it seems the game will be tied to stuffed animals, using them as a form of memory card.

This year also marks the 20th Anniversary of Sonic the Hedgehog; a line of retro toys is being released by JazWares.

Note: They file Sonic the Hedgehog under Boys.
The new toys aren't shown yet, but the prototypes have been seen at a European toy convention.

I also helped raid a local game store that closed down; it was such a shame!  It was just like Funcoland of the days of old: it had NES, Atari, Saturn, Genesis, you name it.  But the first day I visit it- what do you know!  Everything's in boxes and the place is shutting down.  So, me and my friends made a couple of purchases of our own.  One bought the infamous "Shaq-fu", voted 2nd and first place in numerous tallies for worst game ever, and also purchased Jekyll and Hyde, another flop.  I couldn't find anything I was looking for, but was slathering for and at the amount of game memorabilia in this store.  I felt like the crying Indian, this store was so good.  Anyway, for $25 I walked away with one of the coolest things ever:

It's about 3 feet long, for reference :)

And here is a look at my pimped out wall above my bed. :

All images I have accrued in the past year.  : )
Thank you Landy, Khaosdog, and GameXChange.

A last bit of news, I found out recently my guild at Neopets, of which I have long since stopped frequenting, is still the top two Dinosaur guilds, along with :iconmesozoical:'s.  We powerhoused the scene then with awesome dinosaur news and roleplay, and apparently in our stead we are still.  the only. ones. there.
Do people like dinosaurs anymore?

  • Listening to: Penguin Cafe Orchestra
  • Reading: Java Code

To the Digital World

Journal Entry: Mon Dec 13, 2010, 1:20 AM

Nah, needed to change this, it's been up for so long : )


Why don't you answer a few of these for me?

Do you guys like comics?  What kind of comics do you like?

What is making you happy right now?

What's your favorite thing that I do?  Or what is your reason for watching me?

What are you going to be when you grow up/what is your career now?

For what reasons do you look at art, and do art?  What is your favorite art?

Deep questions!  You don't have to answer them if they make you uncomfortable.


If you like them.
I just found this awesome digimon game-It's just like a tamagatchi for your computer, only you can battle other people across the net!  It's a small program, so download it and battle me! : D

You can get it here:…

It requires the hamachi client to connect; can get it here:…

My group is DverPC, password is digimon  (predictable!)

It's the Impmon that lives in my Closet xD

  • Listening to: Tiny Tim